To Make a Short Story Long

This one is going to meander a bit, but worry not, we'll get there.

So a while ago now a good friend of ours, M, got a new kitten. Skyler, who is afraid of all things living, was absolutely terrified of this sweet little creature whom we shall call Baking Powder. We sat on the couch for a while with Baking Powder sitting calmly beside us and I soothed Skyler and assured her over and over for about ten minutes that Baking Powder was just a kitten and would never hurt her, that he was kind and sweet and cute just like OUR little baby Talia.

And then Baking Powder pounced on her hand and bit her.

Proving once again that I am, in fact, a liar.

Last weekend we went back to M's house for dinner and Skyler comes running and screaming from the back of the yard. "What happened, honey?" "Mommy, some random cat bit my hand!" We were sitting around the fire later and Baking Powder came slinking under the chair I was sitting in with Skyler in my lap. Skyler started getting all squealy and worried and I asked her what the problem was. "Mommy, it actually wasn't some random cat bit my hand, it was Baking Powder."

We went to the lake yesterday afternoon and pulled up to the house just past dinner time, hungry and tired but content. As we pulled into the driveway we saw the neighbourhood Mama Deer with her two little fawns grazing on our front lawn, but paid them no mind because we see them so often. We opened the van door and saw our neighbour's dog, Otis, come running down the street to greet us. He comes over quite a bit because Marcus is really into throwing a ball for him, so again, nothing unusual. However, as wee Otis got closer he saw the fawns and I swear a smile spread across his little doggy face. Otis loves to chase. He chases our cats all the time (but not in a way that bothers us--in a sweet 'I'd never know what to do if I caught up with them' kind of way). So he started to chase the fawns that bolted between the van and the house. But Mama Deer did not bolt. Instead she started to clobber Otis with both of her front hooves and remarkably with her back hooves as well. I stood frozen at the sliding door of the van and the kids both watched with mouths agape in horror. I took a step towards them like I was going to assuage the ire of the deer but David uttered, "Don't. You. Dare." Otis finally freed himself from the barrage of kicks and ran squealing and yelping up the road. I hoped the deer would then take off but she didn't. She started looking around the yard like maybe Otis had some little doggy friends that she could clobber, since she was in a clobbering kind of mood. I quietly got back into the van and closed the door behind me. Marcus started whimpering, "I'm scared. How are we going to get back to the house?" We assured the kids that they needn't be scared of deer and that the deer was just protecting her fawns (of course, I am a known liar). But when I finally mustered up the courage to open the van door, I was scared too. I had a bottle of shampoo in my hand so I threw it at the deer hoping she'd go on down the street but she didn't; she blinked at it and looked at me expectantly. I carried Skyler quickly to the house and went back for Marcus, not willing to put them on the ground to walk. David brought Talia in quickly.

Otis went to the vet and it turns out he is okay. At first his owners thought he was a goner; he just lay on their porch and closed his eyes and whimpered. But, no broken bones, no internal injuries, he's going to be fine.

Later that evening we're sitting on the couch looking out the window and watching the offending Mama Deer munching on some apples our across-the-street neighbour left out for her. Marcus says, "Uhm Mom, you know, I have a phobia now." "Oh? Of what?" "Of deer." Skyler looks up excitedly, "OH! I have a phobie TOO!" "Really? Of what?" Fully expecting her to have a new deer phobia too.

"I have a phobia of M's cats!"